It's time once again for RobotSound's next installment of I <3 The 80s, only this time...it's personal. No actually, I'm showcasing 80s covers that didn't really need to be made. So as not to make this a total downer of a post, I'm also including a few worthy versions that earn this robot's Seal of Approval.
[For those of you who may have missed our previous episodes: Part 1 > Part 2 > Part 3]

Even though we're 20 years out from the final year of the 80s, they're still very much with us as evidenced both by the milestone deaths of Michael Jackson and John Hughes and the continuing bad hipster fashion of the day. I keep rediscovering songs of the era that still hold up to this day, unlike much of today's "Flavor of the Week" garbage. The following tracks just go to show that you can try to emulate the greatness of yesteryear, but your best bet is often to simply leave well enough alone and let the originals speak for themselves.

Cazals - To Cut A Long Story Short
Faithful cover of the Spandau Ballet hit that doesn't bring much new to the game. If this were for a band karaoke contest, it would be good enough to propel the band to the next round, I suppose.

The Visitors - Our Lips Are Sealed
Saccharine Electro House version that will have you bored by the end of the track. Don't bother with Nouvelle Vague's recent take on it either (even if Terry Hall sings on it). Do yourself a favor and get the Fun Boy 3 12" and watch this great sounding live clip. The gothed-out cellist at 2:21 ftw!

Moby - New Dawn Fades
Sorry Moby, you're not at all right for a Joy Division song, no matter how big a fanboy of theirs you were. Boring Vegan Emo crap. Zzzzz....

Shiny Toy Guns - Major Tom (Coming Home)
Apparently, most people have heard this one in a Lincoln commercial. Maybe the advertisers figured that if they hired some hot young band to cover a classic 80s song, they'd win some street cred with Generation Hipster. Shiny Toy Guns also bear responsibility for their unnecessary cover of DM's Stripped. I think these guys are desperately trying not to be One-Hit Wonders.

Paris Hilton - Do You Think I'm Sexy
No, Paris, we don't think you're sexy. The correct term is skanky (though from a Marketing perspective, you're a fooking genius). Oddly enough, there's no corresponding video for this song. For a better, and far sleazier cover, enjoy this version from those Revolting Cocks. (Warning: Might be a tad awkward for work). Queen of Japan turn in a good rendition of it as well.

KMFDM - Being Boiled
NOOOOOOO!!!!!! Why?!?! There is NO need for this. You probably won't make it all the way through this one. Sadly, nothing in life is sacred any longer.

Nethescerial - The Robots
Black Metal jackassery of the highest order. You're douchebags, not robots! For the polar opposite of this offal, dig this modern classical take from Quintorigo that's reminiscent of the one by the Balanescu Quartet.

Kelly Osbourne - Two of Hearts
Don't f**k with Stacey, Jeezus! I mean, what's the point really?
/shakes head disapprovingly
For a more respectable remake, try Annie's, although it too is unnecessary.

One of my favorite machine musicians today is Skanfrom [Stephan Metzger aka Roger Semsroth]. His work over the past 10+ years in Bakterielle Infektion [along with Uwe Marx] as well as under his Television Set and sleeparchive aliases spans from Industrial Synth-pop to Cold Wave and Minimal Electro. The music seems tailor-made for robots looking to explore their darker emotions [yes, we too can experience fear, melancholy, anger and isolation like our human counterparts]. But it can also be hopeful and comforting, giving us a reason to persevere in a ruthless, competitive world where individualism is frowned upon and personal liberty is constantly being threatened.

Skanfrom's work, like that of his robot contemporaries who champion Retro-Futurism, is heavily influenced by the Futurists and New Romantics of the late 70's and early 80s. In continuing Robotsound's tradition of bringing you inspired takes on the classics, I present the next installment of I <3 the 80's, all performed by the same talented android.

Bakterielle Infektion's cover of Joy Division's "A Means To An End"
Television Set performs an early track of Depeche Mode by the same name.
Skanfrom gives us an instrumental version of Duran Duran's "Planet Earth"